in the eye of the beholder.

A pity there are too many beholders already.

I really hope there's a difference somewhere, somehow.

I always harboured the general notion that people are solidatory creatures. Let's face it, every problem faced by everyone is faced by everyone else alone. Yes, it's true, friends and the people around us are there for us but seriously, define 'there for us'? In the end, we are sent to the trials of the problems on our own. Whatever happens to us will never affect those people who gives us support and advice during the tribulations.

Being the only child, I suppose there are many times where I fended for myself, well, emotionally-speaking. Hm, I seldom discuss problems with my parents through the process of growing up. Although I understand they have gone through the same adolescent years before, but sometimes, I just think that in their eyes, the only problem of a growing child in Singapore seems to studies, studies and more studies. That is which I cannot really deny but I can deny that it ain't all. Humans can be pushed to learn things under the pressure of circumstances. By hiding behind my wonder wall that I slowly build brick by brick, I realized that some things or feelings can be minimized or maybe even forgotten.

The little puppet show displayed upon the wall becomes an everyday event; one which I've gradually learned to live with. It's been there for so long that it's gotten comfortable already. How many really understand the real me? H*ll, do I even know myself??

Or so I thought...

After stepping into Australia and beginning a whole new phase of Life, I've begin to have a different outlook on many things. Truth is, I still have my little skeletons prancing around in my closet but I don't think that is going to be flushed out anytime soon anyway, so... jux screw it. I can feel my little fantasy world situated in my imaginary mind becoming tainted with a bit of realistic hue. It's a little scary to see or feel this change in me 'cos sometimes, I just don't want to take the risk. I can see myself feel a sense of dependence upon others; in a way where I feel better in the presence of others. Gradually, a need for others and company constantly nags at the base of my mind...

Independence appears to be such a strong word.. but really, it is just a simple matter of taking the {in} and throwing it out. Unknowingly, I've been smashing my bricks one by one, allowing the light to wash over this dark corner of the hart... once again. Sigh.. acknowledging the need or dependence for others makes quiver with weakness while at the same time.. hm, I don't know, another unknown feeling comes into the picture as well.

{In}dependence upon others..

Sigh... what a strange entry this is.

Yupyupx, I've just watched finished 美丽人生 (Beautiful Life). I understand that it's a pretty dated Japanese drama but what matters is that it is all good. I like the fact that despite it having a generalised sad theme, there is still a hart-warming feeling that Life can be beautiful in its own strangest way..

"No matter what kind of Life one has, one will always have the strength to be happy.."

Really..? Really.

I particularly liked the ending and felt it topped off the drama in a perfect fashion. ( ^o^)//

I'm in your future...??
Yes, in this... beautiful Life. (^o^)

It takes 10 seconds to forget about someone...

1 second to forget how you met him/her;

1 second to forget how you talked to him/her;

1 second to forget how nonchalant you felt about him/her;

1 second to forget how you went out with him/her;

1 second to forget how you knew him/her thing by thing;

1 second to forget how you remembered his/her face;

1 second to forget his/her laughter and tears;

1 second to forget his/her imperfectness;

1 second to forget how everything felt so different;

And, 1 second to return to the very 1st second.

'ello! Don't worry, you've come to the right blog. This is LiOnHaRt's blog. ^^ I've decided to make some minor alterations to my blog.

Hm, as you can see, I still have alot of loose ends to tie up. I spent so much time just to get an existing template to fit into my blog. =l

Man, I'm not that good at HTML huh? Lol.

I was supposed to update this blog way before. But there were many other things I was supposed to do. Like how I'm supposed to summarise today's lecture. Hm, I'll do it... in the end. I think. Finally, I guess almost all of my emotions have been set in place and I'm ready to jot down this new chapter of my ChroNicLeS again.

Getting back to studies again is like throwing a monk into a brothel. For the first week of tutorials and lectures, I still felt like I was on a holiday there and yeah well, I'm just visiting Monash for a while. Not!

What more can I say, leaving th academic world for 2 years + and complied with 2 years of not-so-fun academic experience at a certain junior college. The equation builds up and there you have it, me! But luckily, this time, I erm... actually like what I'm studying, namely Media Studies and Human Behaviour. They are interesting modules indeed. Media Studies is starting to get abit more confusing as it delves deeper, coupled with its eccentric terminology.

Haha! Let's not forget about Effective Writing. I've gone back into learning all the basic elements of writing a sentence. The powerful eight elements - Nouns, Verbs, Adverbs, Conjunction, Preposition, Adjectives, Pronouns and Interjection. My god... I know, that's the first person you must be thinking after reading about those eight elements. Well, I was thinking about more than 'God' at that time though.

When was the last time I learnt this? Hm, I think it was during primary school, and that would be 14 years ago. That's, like, more than a decade!

But aside from screaming 'God' and all things religious in the mind, I think all these is necessary after all. Even though I/we learnt all these before in primary school, that doesn't imply I still remember all of it. Come to think of it, I think I'm doing the opposite. I suppose I've gotta trudge my way through this shallow swamp again to get to the other side. Just like how a building cannot be constructed without its ugly foundations, a language can never be beautifully used without the proper knowledge of even the simplest stuff and guidance. Yeah, I guess so.

Somehow, I ended up in Marketing as one of my modules. At first, I didn't like it one bit. But, a person can never like every part of his/her cake, can he/she? Those who loves to discard the fattening decorative cream, please raise your hands! ^^ I've learnt to embrace it properly, though not with as much passion, but it's still a friendly hug. Lol. It's starting to seem quite fun to study marketing, although I don't think I can ever like writing business report. There's this big assignment due at the end of the trimester. I gotta market something about this pet shop chain in Australia. The thing is, everything has to be based in Australia, a place which I only barely got to know for 2 weeks? Manx..

Food here in Australia is expensive, as compared to prices in Singapore. I mean, even their food court charges exorbitant prices. Imagine the cost of a plate of char kway teow back home in a typical Singapore hawker centre, hm, $2.50 or $3.00? Well, it costs around $8.00 here. Yep, it's $8.00. And it's not even in some fancy restaurant where I gotta pay for the cushion seats, ambience lighting, soothing music, part of the crew's uniform. It's only in some food court. Kaox... did I just pay for its flight from Singapore to Australia? Come on, it's only char kway teow, a very unhealthy but delicious local(Singapore) delicacy. Did they use some emperor pig's lard to cook it? (I was thinking, since there's emperor penguins, there's gotta be some royal pig breed, right? Right??)

Right, no thank you! I shall indulge in food when I fly back. Luckily, I'm not a foodie, (a slang meaning someone who lives to eat, or in some extreme cases, may even kill for food. But.. that's in rare extreme cases only lah.) Just that, once in a while, I may get a craving for a certain food, but I still won't go out of my way to get it, that's too troublesome for myself.

On to my hostel. It's an okie place. Seriously, I don't know what else to say about it. Well, too bad for me is, unlike the other Halls of Residence around, mine does not come with unisex toilets and bathrooms. They strategically place both a male and female toilets at both ends of the halls. Hm, I'm not complaining because I can't share it with girls but because I'm situated at the other end of the hall. Guess what? It's the female end. Argh! Thus, I have to trot down the whole length of the hall just to use the bathroom. Man, can anyone say, inconvenient?

There are many Asians here, ranging from Malaysians, Indonesians, Koreans, Japanese, Hong Kong-ers (pardon, I have no idea what to call them.) and of course, myself. I think there many more minority Asians which I can't remember. Hm, let's see.. never mind. Anyway, I'm leaving the 'people' section in my other place of writing.

I miss the old Life back there. The many things which I could do or the people I could have met up with. I guess things gotta change and I've gotta change. If it's exposure I was looking for, this is the exposure I should treasure.

Man, I haven't seen any Initial D or arcades here.

Shucks.

It's here. The day is finally here. Now, watch as I slowly slip into the hour, minutes and seconds.

Very soon, I'll be jumping over to the other side. Come to think of it, I've never said any long farewells to any of my friends before. In any case, the most they do is go on a holiday. Haha! Never expected my first long goodbye to involve myself directly. Feels so weird to be standing on the other side of a farewell. Ar geex...

Anyway, I guess this is gonna be my last entry here on the sunny island.

A chapter of the ChroNicLeS of the Hart shall end here...

... As a brand new set of ChroNicLeS starts writing itself. *metamorphosis in progress*

To all my friends here, I hope I've managed to touch ya Lives in small little indescribable ways, just like how I've been touched. Truly, the honours all mine. =')

Watch out for an update from Down Under. Well, hopefully, soon.

My most emotional End. Ever.

Oh my god, I only have 2 more days before I'm leaving on a jet plane. You know, everything feels so surreal, in 2 days time, I'll be sitting down in a different chair, writing entries in my blog or od in a completely different environment. My fingers would be tapping on a different keyboard and my eyes would be staring at content that appears magically on a different computer screen. Who knows? I may also be wearing completely different types of clothes due to the different kinda weather conditions there. Whoa...

Sigh.. yes, the word 'different' has appeared so many times that it can be pretty unnerving sometimes. But a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do huh?? Lol. yeah, right. =p

The decision to fly was rather sudden. Come to think of it, the idea of studying English Language was sudden too. Through the years of being in ex-Chinese High, the idea was always engineering, engineering and more engineering. I guess almost everyone there was geared towards that course, or at one point or another, had their mind fixated at that point. It's prolly just the culture there. When people ask me what I wanna do in the future, of course, I responded with a despondent 'engineer'? Whatever engineer, just an engineer will do. 'Cos that's what everyone is thinking of, isn't it? It's a safe bet, isn't it? What can go wrong??

Yet, a person's future, like an individual's Life isn't a question out of some end-of-year examination paper. It isn't just a right or wrong. It's also what answer one will eventually find through the question. How much would one like the answer??

I never liked the idea of being an engineer. Although I didn't like the idea, I still couldn't find an alternative route to take. But somehow, I knew there was an alternative route. It's, like, a foggy path branching out from the dusty old used path I was standing on. Apparently, many people have come and gone on the path. And I just happened to be another one.

My first brush with English was getting into an English TDP (Talent Development Programme) in ex-Chinese High. My first intense jump into stories during English Literature lessons. I've always thought stories were just stories, but in those lessons, it has taught me more. If you bother to slow down and read into it, you can actually see the world in some of the literary stories. It's the first time, I actually read a book over and over again for four times. And on it, were so many highlighted dialogues and actions of the characters, with so many small notes scribbled in the small spaces in the corners that they could be imbedded with the stories already too.

That was also my very first attempt at thinking more for myself, in discovering hidden meanings in things. I suppose... I liked discovering new ideas for myself and if they're good, prolly share it with others, so that they may gain from the new insight.

At those moments, a seed slowly nestled itself in somewhere cosy...

Eventually, it met something/someone that made it blossom. And that blossom leads to me now writing this entry. Leading me down a road less taken. There was a poem which I did enjoy in the past and I think it goes by the same name, 'A Road Less Taken', but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. In it, it talks about how the poet himself didn't choose a safe and overused path but instead embarked on one which led him to his poem. Very meaningful, really.

It's a neverending struggle to decide upon leaving or staying. As much as I don't want to leave everyone and everything behind, I suppose it's also good for the exposure. This will be the first time I'll be crawling from under the comfort zone and into a new environment. One where it had better be good. haha! I guess the exposure will benefit in a certain subtle way and I'll probably gain some more additional insights from living on my own that cannot be found over here.

Honestly, I don't feel lost at going to somewhere foreign and all. Maybe 'cos the army has allowed me to experience this back in BMT (Basic Military Training), where I'm thrown into a new and harsh environment. And guess what, I survived through it after all. This is gonna be an added boost of confidence, I must say.

Almost all packed and ready. Just gotta decide what else to bring over. Hm, actually, I can't think of much things. Ar, talk about a guy and his stuff.

The clock is ticking and the dates are flipping. I'm edging closer and closer to the cold departure gates.

Borrowing the same title of a song from L'Arc En Ciel, I suppose I'm ready to go.

My mind is racing with so many random thoughts and the hart is pumping with so many emotions now. Apologies if entries appear incoherent. I hope the gist of everything is still there. Ar shucks. =x

End.

After so long while since the implementation of the iPod into our lives, I've finally embraced the culture (or cult, if you prefer.) of the iPod. It has been such a long wait for me, prolly 'cos of money-wise as well. In the past, before I received 'peanuts' from a certain government body, my little old allowance just couldn't hold out a iPod on its own. I also didn't wanna get a few hundred from my parents just for an Mp3 player. Besides, it's an 'I'Pod, besides the point that it has songs customised to your taste, I suppose I wanna get it on my own as well.

So goes the process of saving through the shells and nuts that I've been getting. Well, it was moving along quite well, considering the 500+ smackeroos per month, and the few hundred which an iPod would cost, the ratio was still pretty well in the comfortable range. But that means forgoing a new handphone, which is okie since I'm very contented with my Nokia 6100, with its white-now-turned-a-little-grey Bleach soul globe -_- hanging off the top right hand corner. Haha! Yep, I would prefer an iPod to another 3G or whatever handphone. Oh, and the wonderful iPod Video was born. I could almost seen it in my hands already. But the price then was, erm... pretty steep? Yep, and there goes the wait.

So comes the 6th of June, finally, my trusty old discman left my stage and allowed the brand new iPod to take center-stage. *applause* I went foraging through the prices from the stores in Far East Plaza and Lucky Plaza. I've got a friend who recommended a shop in Far East Plaza, 'cos I think that's where he bought his. But I decided to check out Lucky Plaza as well.

And guess what? I've gotten a price that's $50 lower than that offered in Far East Plaza, which is already $60 lower than the official price. Luckily I did just get it on impulse at the initial planned location, could have offset me 50 bucks. I would be like from =) ----> )= Phew...

Anyway, if you are wondering why I didn't bother going where everyone who wants techie stuff would flock to. Well, I can just say, it's just me. I don't really like the place. So many different stores harbouring so many con-vincing artists. Nah, I'll pass. I feel more comfortable being in town.

Right, my brand new iPod is my latest and I think so far, physical luxury possession. After a couple days, I've finally all my songs, music, osts inside this little metal casing le. Yesh, it is ready. And 'cos I went to dig up the older songs to put inside, I must say, it's been a while since I've listened to such classics and it's a nice feeling. haha!

Had a good laugh when I was installing iTunes, the program which works together with the iPod. The slogan goes like this, 'iPod and iTunes. Born to be together.' It even comes with a picture of a hugging smiling couple. -_-"' Geex... Come on, it's just a program. This kind of exaggeration and association is just too hilarious. Lol.

Okie, this is a boring entry, I know, I know. But I'll be writing more interesting topics soon. Keep in touch, people!

Right, I went to catch 'Over the Hedge' with D (don't know what nick to identify her and I don't use real names in my blog and od so, initials will do, ya. haha!) today. Pretty good animation film, almost all the qualities which an animation film should possess. Phew, that ought to erase the horrendous experience with my last animation film. Can someone please help me say, 'Chicken Little'? Argh, stupid Disney shouldn't bother to enter the animation industry. Anyway, that's another thing I'm gonna write about for another day. They should leave to the creators at Pixar and Dreamworks. Personally, I prefer Pixar productions but Dreamworks is all good too.

Mmmm... speaking about 'Chicken Little', got a little craving for chicken rice creeping up inside me. =Pp

On a side note, not that it's extrememly crucial to the movie or anything, but I was just wondering about the title as I was making my way home. Why is the movie called 'Over the Hedge'? I don't really recall they making their way over the hedge. For one thing, the whole cast is made up of tiny creatures of the forest. Oops, 'cuse me, I meant cute tiny creatures. The hedge is presented as a giant prison wall for them. Imagine, it's about a little taller than a full grown bear. Wow. A full grown bear that's standing on his two hind legs. Wowie. O.o Now that's a very tall hedge.

Anyway, most of the time, the animals make their way through (note, they bash their way through the greenery) to get over to the human edge. Haha! Over the Hedge? Should be Through the Hedge ba..?? I don't know, probably just one of those things again... Don't mind me, but think about it if you've caught the movie or will be planning to catch it. Just don't think so much about it and enjoy the imaginative world of 'Over a.k.a. Through the Hedge'.

Of course, in every animation film, there'll be characters where you simply can't help it but love. Oh, except for a certain animation film I've caught previously. *crowd chants 'Chicken Little'* Let's see... one thing bad about 'Over the Hedge' is, almost all the characters seem to be lovable on an equal level. There's the ulterior-motive-harbouring-and-smart Racoon; the artistic, Shakespeare-an Possums; the cautious and protective Turtle; the warm and prickly family of Hedgehogs; the crazy, not-so-smart, but fast, very very fast Squirrel; the supposedly stinky, low self-esteem but later gets turned into a gorgeous cat wannabe Skunk. I think that's about it for the main cast of cuddly creatures. But don't mind the Hedgehogs if they ain't too cuddly, ya.

I was kinda rooting for the Turtle 'cos if you've seen 'Finding Nemo', the little turtle, Squirt was real cute. But in 'Over the Hedge' er... his personality makes him rather boring, so yeah, I was kinda disappointed in that. Haha! But you know something, I think his versatile shell takes up more of the limelight than the actual Turtle himself. Pretty funny, if you ask me, just watch it and you'll know what I mean. ; )

So I guess they all stand on the same ground, ends up I don't have any special liking for the main cast at all. Right, let's go to the supporting cast of characters. I'm throwing the bear out straightaway 'cos he's a pure evil selfish bear. Boring, not worth my time. Haha! Okie, I like the retarded, playing-addiction dog and the fat ignorant handsome Persian cat. If ya wondering that how can fat and handsome go together? Well, they can sometimes and in this case, he just gave off this feeling.

The dog is extremely fun to be with as well. At first, you see a chain fastened strong to the ground, which leads all the way towards a dark and foreboding kennel. 1st impression, it's gonna be one of those really fierce, fangs baring, salivating, dark, black and strong dog with a sharp spikey collar. And you know the chains are just for display purposes and it's never gonna hold such a savage beast. The moment arrives and the dog notices our cuddly friends' presence gallivanting around in 'his' backyard. Die liao...

That's when he charges out...

To play!!! ~~~?! haha! Oh man, that was really hilarious. Well, the dog was black; he was strong; and he had something similar to a spikey collar. But he had no evil intentions at all. All he wanted to do was to play. Lol. Although the playing bit may end up being violent, after all, he doesn't know his own strength, but it's really funny to see this massive creature rush out, chanting 'play, play, play' when we expecting a 'kill, kill, kill' creature. Funny twist. ^^

Probably it hits closer to me, with me being with so many different dogs and all during my 2 years stint in dog wing. I can understand that dog's mentality in wanting to play. I had handled those dogs before too. It's really great fun having those dogs with so much interest in playing. Sometimes, they'll even forget their owner for a ball. But a few quick shouts will do the trick and he'll return to you with a sad look on his face. Or not. haha! Some dogs just love playing and eating. The greedy little mutts. ^^

Onto the fat cat. Oh, it rhymes. haha! Yeah, for starters, he's a proud, rich, heir of... I don't know, some king cat? He mumbled jumbled through some long royal name that I couldn't catch any of it. So, being 'royalty' (right, he's still a cat.), he doesn't like to associate himself with strays and the outdoors. Remember I mentioned the Skunk who gets turned into something more er.. presentable? Yup, that's where she comes in. Her role would be to 'seduce' while the adorable gang loot the house. So I suppose the cat is now the guard 'cos you can't really expect that retard of a dog to do that job, can you? haha! And also he owns a state of the art key to the house on his collar.

He falls for the Skunk eventually. Here comes the more beautiful scene... after he realizes she's a Skunk (right, I think he knew that from the start though..) and after she let's loose this 'bio-chemical' weapon from her erm... behind right in the house (poor house...). He still likes her all the same. Somehow, his love for her overrides all his other senses. Awww... haha! Isn't that sweet? ^^ As they are a pair of imaginary computer-generated characters, this is brought out in a more comedic way. But I have to emphasize the underlying elements are still there. It never changes, be it animated creatures or sexually-produced human beings.

Everything is done in good taste. Although, it may not be as impressive as 'Finding Nemo' or 'The Incredibles', but it touches well on the areas that all animations should possess. A fun and wildly imaginative world which we can believe in or provide us two-legged thinking beings another perspective into other living things' perspective and the creation of endearing characters which we can remember at the snap of our fingers. I think that's the basis of animation movies. It doesn't require a top-notch script to rival the other blockbusters hits but all the more, in its characters and environment they operate in. That's why people adore animations sometimes, simply 'cos it stimulates our imaginations when the repetitive society Life doesn't allow us that form of luxury. Hm. My 2 cents worth.

At the end of the credits, while I was making my way out of the theatre, I realized Bruce Willis was the voice actor for the Racoon. Haha! I was oblivious throughout the whole show. Honest. Probably the image of him being this strong attitude-oozing man just didn't quite fit into the image of a mere... racoon? For example, my image of him came from Lethal Weapon, Tears of the Sun etc, and who can forget the ever-popular, one of my faves, Armageddon? haha!

Oh, but I still don't know who did Avril Lavigne voice for. I saw her name at the starting introductions but not at the end credits. Weird.

That's about it for 'Over a.k.a. Through the Hedge'. Sadly, for some chicken out there. They failed terribly for a animation film. Probably if the chicken did not speak in the movie, I would have liked him more.

If you are wondering if I dislike that particular animation, 'Chicken Little' alot, hmmm...

Don't worry.

'Cos ya most probably right. haha! =Pp

Cheerios. End. ^^

Hm, it's the school holidays now. Yes, the last time, I was elated over the long-awaited-but-exactly-enough school holidays. But that was when I was still in school, man. Everywhere I go now, it's always crowds and more crowds. With the Great Singapore Sale fever catching on, the crowds are growing like a rampant asexual amoeba. -_-

But while crowds get on my nerves sometimes, I can't really complain too much, 'cos er.. hey, I'm part of everyone that makes up 'a' crowd too. haha! So it's fun to actually observe the different qualities a crowd possess which gets on people's nerves simultaneously. I shall share my not-so-keen observation here. Just treat it as a fun read, 'cos eVeRyOnE is guilty of at least one way of irritable behaviour in my list. Oh, the order of appearance doesn't matter, I'm writing as they come to mind. Here we go!

The Couple ----> This is the most dominant in any crowd, so it's the 1st to come to my mind. Even though ironically, they say, '2s a couple and 3s a crowd.' Oh, couples doesn't necessarily mean boy-girl combo, they are many other combos to choose from, say, boy-boy, girl-girl or girl-boy (think it's the same as girl-boy though, hm.). Well, that's about it. These are the two people combo which slows down alot of the human traffic. They are indulged in their own conversations, and since humans are not good at multitasking, their leg movements slow down unconsciously. It's no one's fault, just blame our grey matter which refuses to work its half potential. When two people enjoy each other topics of conversations, they lose regard for others around. Somehow, the combo of girl-boy or boy-girl is even worse. The uncanny attraction between them slows down things by a whole notch. Thus, The Couple is a frequent sight to beware of in any crowd.

The Window Shopper(s) -----> This comes in singly or groups meaning two and above. The latter is a much major problem. Basically, they fall prey to advertising methods in the big glass windows of every shop that comes in their path. As they need to absorb as much information about the nicer things being advertised in the glass windows, they maintain their speed similar to a travelator lest they miss out on any nice stuff or wonderful promotions. The problem is, only they themselves are on their mind's traveltor. The rest of the folks are on walking speeds. Human traffic obstructed while they admire the wonderful decor of the windows even if the things being advertised may or may not have anything to do with them. Not as bad when The Window Shopper is a single person, quite easy to bypass him/her on his/her mind travelator. But if you get caught in the group version...

The E-Brakers -----> This may come independently or evolve from The Window Shopper. They are those who suddenly stop dead in their tracks for whatever reason not explained in little thought bubbles. While drivers on the road hate it when the driver in front of him/her suddenly applies the E-brakes for God-knows what reason. The same irritable factor applies in us, pedestrains too. While drivers have the option to not tailgate, it's sad that we don't. In a crowd, our environment forces us to follow closely behind to someone else. So we have no choice. I can't really the countless times I had to prevent myself from hitting these E-brakers. And I think that effect goes down a couple more rows of people too. The simple evolution of The Window Shoppers happens whenever he/she/they spot something worth their while. Wham! Zam! Bam!

The Handphone Hogging er... Hog (THHH) -----> Another classic of disregard for surroundings when these people appear. The principle lies very similar to The Couple where they get involved in some worthwhile conversations, dragging them further and further into the phone conversations when their physical frame still lies in our realm, blocking the paths of people who wish to get to their destinations without feeling all jittery inside. At least, most of them come singly, so it's not that difficult to brush past them. Hey, they wouldn't even know you brushed past them anyway. An 'excuse me' wouldn't work well already, as in a crowd, some people can hardly concentrate hearing those two words well with two ears, let alone THHH having only one ear available.

The Dragon Dance Troupe -----> This would always make the biggest group of them all. They come in groups of four or more, no less. As they enjoy the company of being friends and all and since no one wants to be left out in the conversation, they instinctively form this line that crosses everyone's path. And note, I mean everyone. The line cannot be distinctly seen as people force their way through, forming this illusion that no line is present. But when you get close enough, you'll find yourself being blocked off. Look to your left, look to your right, you'll see a line of people moving at the same slow speed. No choice but to break through. Luckily, this sight does not happen too often, only when these groups of friends seriously need to bond that strongly that you'll encounter The Dragon Dance Group. If you can just imagine the amount of effort the persons at the end need to strain to listen to the on-going conversations, sometimes, it's just not worth it.

The Invisible Toddlers -----> The little kids who exist in an age not suitable for prams anymore, and they are still at that minute size that still leaves alot to be desired. They are invisible to us simply 'cos the light they reflect is too far below to reach our eyes. But they are there, never belittle them. By far, this is the worst predicament to be in. Why, you may ask? Many a times, I've tried to walk forward into a seemingly empty spot when my instincts tell me to watch out? That's when I stop in my tracks, only to see a small kid down there, without any idea that he/she was about to be knocked down. Notice I've become an E-braker too, while stopping for The Invisible Toddlers. Oh, to add another thing, if you do, unfortunately, knock down one, and he/she has a very very low threshold for pain or shock, be prepared for a frustration and guilt trip when everything wasn't your fault in your 1st place. How can you be blamed for something you can't have known huh? So in a crowd, sometimes, you have no choice but to walk behind one, and look at the illusionary empty space in front of you that you could have just walked forward on, if not for their existence.

There's a close cousin to The Invisible Toddlers, known affectionately as The Z Kids. They do not deserve their own place in crowds as they can't exist in major crowds. But in a lesser crowd, these kids emerge. Be it running towards their parents or towards something which greatly interest them, they end up running in a Z formation, thus coining thier brand name. When they come at you head-on, there's no way you can make an effort to avoid their random Z patterns. The only way sensible idea is to slow down or stop and allow them to make the effort of by-passing you. The Z Kids... not as dangerous but still a nuisance.

The Mirror Image -----> They are people who simply love this childhood game, Simon Says. But we share a unique relationship with each other when we meet one. In their view point, we are one ourselves. These are the people we meet head on in a collision course. But being sensible humans which we tend to forget sometimes, we stop gracefully for each other. Here, the game starts. I don't know if it's in every human mind or something, we will start to mirror each other moves, all in a bid to carry on our own way and allow the other party to carry on his/her way too. But being The Mirror Image which we each become, we have only made it harder for each other as we swerve to our lefts and rights for a couple of times at the same time before recovering our senses. Argh! As above, the only sensible is to allow the other party to make his move, in doing so, breaking the chain of being The Mirror Image. Actually, it's easier said than done, I guess it's in our instincts. If you don't believe me, try making the effort to stop one day and you'll see!

The Indecisive Bulls -----> Signs of these emerging are from The E-brakers and THHH. They are the ones who decide to make a U-turn at their whim and fancy right in the centre of a major crowd and worst of all, you happen to be behind them! While walking in a crowd, logic suddenly sets in and questions them on their supposed designation. Immediately, they turn 180 on the spot and charges onwards, making up for any lost time they may have incurred on their wasted walking trip. Wham! Bam! Suddenly, you find yourself staring straight at someone's face when a mere second ago, you were seeing their backs. Even worse, they are coming down your path! When THHH is spotted, there's a chance of him/her evolving to The Indecisive Bulls, as the people they are about to meet may very well have changed the meeting point and chances are it's way over the opposite end. And again, Wham! Bam!

The Blind Walker -----> They are closely related to The Window Shoppers. But I'm not sure how to put my finger on them. Basically, something caught their eye. But unlike The Window Shoppers, they do not slow down. While their eye digests, their legs moves on in the same manner. Inevitably, they turn a blind to whom or whatever is in front of them. Sure, they don't pose a problem to those behind them, but the ones in front whom they can't see... Hm. And being in a crowd, there's not much room for people to dodge The Blind Walker. They can only watch the collision course about to happen and possibly convey the message across to them before it actually happens. Or just hope for a empty space to pop up in order to allow them to pass. Whichever comes first, I suppose.

I think that's all I can list for the night. Or rather, I can only think of all these, but I'm sure there are many others around. Haha! As I've said, it's all in the name of fun, so don't mind me if I exaggerate things a little, ya. 'Cos seriously, besides The Invisible Toddlers, I've been, at least, one of those mentioned before, even the rare Dragon Dance Troupe. I'm sure everyone is. Crowds are always there, and it's all the different people in there that make up one. I think it's our fast pace of Life, just like how drivers love to abuse their honk, that getting stopped or slowed down through no fault of ours gets on our very nerves.

Can you think of any other types in a crowd? =P

End.

If anyone has noticed, I've not written much in either my blog or my od. I've been more than a week absent from them. It's not that there's nothing to write about, 'cos actually, beforehand, I've got alot of things in my mind to blog/write about, but as I find the time to sit down and write, my emotions eventually deviate towards a certain point.

Yes, the point is I'll be flying off really really soon. The little but significant numbers on my watch change daily, bringing me closer and closer to another new chapter in my book of Life. The only difference is that this time, the familiar foundations which I've grown to depend on is demolished. And I'm constructing everything from scratch. Hm, it is probably something good. A whole new start and a whole new race to the finish.

'Tian1 Xia1 Wu2 Bu4 Shan4 Zi1 Yan4 Xi2' Ooh.. very cliche phrase. But being cliche also means it's filled with alot of meaning that few other phrases can replace. Yep, my partings with everyone. It also dawned on me that my email, my msn, my blog and my od are the things that's gonna keep me connected to all my friends here. Sigh... I'll definitely miss the times.

If only... Friends ---

Could be like a commodity.
Could be easily forgotten.
Could be neglected.
Could be used and then thrown away.
Could be without feelings.
Could be un-missed.
Could be non-existent in an instant.
Could be...

Nah, it's impossible. After removing the 'if only', everything that a friend 'could be' would be turned 360 around. And that's the truth about friends. The good and better truth. The truth that should and always will be. Personally, I'm afraid of the phrase 'out of sight, out of mind'. I really gotta ensure that phrase never blankets across my mind.

I don't know whether it's just a coincidence or have I come across many partings in every avenues of my home entertainment. There are partings in anime, in dramas, and even in variety shows. Now, I just need 1 more in games. Kaox... Since now I'm on a personal level with such things, I seem to possess a bigger radar and receive more of the feelings involved. Yep, sometimes, my body just can't help it but presents its own feelings.

Besides the people present in my Elevator of Life, how can I forget the very 2 people who created my very elevator for me to ride on in Life? Sigh.. what more can I say? Being the only child, I doubt I can help it with my mum fussing over me all the time. I try my best to shun away from all that but in the end, I guess a mum will always be a mum. I'm someone who dislikes troublesome things, that's why I don't spend excess energy arguing over this 'fussing' thing unless it's truly necessary and I feel she has gone overboard. After all, no one can deny a mum's right to care for her child right? If you didn't know that, don't even try. Lol. =P This has worked well and in the long run of my 21 years of Life, everything has worked out. I think. haha! Yeah, it has worked out. I suppose this time, it's the perfect opportunity for me and for her to experience something totally new.

And on to my dad. A man of few words. Which kinda leads me to a boy-to-man of few words at home too. Haha! All he said to me was to come back with something worthwhile. Right. ^^ Are all dads the same? They don't speak much even though they could have much to say. They can't emote much just because they are men and they are dads? Oh well, maybe it's just my dad. Hope I don't turn out the same way in the future, it's always best to communicate more, no matter how much you really care inside, still gotta express it frequently. Hm, don't you think so?

Without siblings to call my own, I guess my parents are the closest family members by my side all the time. They deserve an integral place in this missing entry.

*counting* I have, like, 10 days left in sunny Singapore, before I'll be moving to the Down-Under. Time moves so fast, I've already ORDed from the army for almost 3 months. On the day that I board a plane heading for Auz, that'll commemorate the 3 months.

Gonna be missing everyone here. Be it those whom know the existence of this blog and those who don't. Many others too, who have left footprints in my sand, although I may not longer have contact, so long as I still remember your face with a name, I'll still miss ya.

Right, don't miss me people, 'cos I know I'll be doing all the missing!!

The memories to be kept,
Are written in my aria.
Kindling a new book,
Each chapter awaits me.

Could it be smooth or erratic?
A question for my persona.
Riding on a star,
Enveloped with glitters of hope.

Right, this is my own brand of poem. I thought of adding something unique to some of my poems the last time. And here's it again! haha! Can you see the hidden message? ^^

If you think you've found it, look the other way as well. Hm, the other way... another way of Life we tend to overlook or neglect. Same significance sometimes, but we don't see it simply 'cos it's not as obvious. Oh well.

With that, I shall bring this missing entry which isn't really missing but still kinda about missing. Gosh.. O.O, that was a mouthful.

Cheerios, everyone!

The Da Vinci Code is a good movie.

That is, if Da Vinci Code...

Was not read beforehand.

It's a very bold act for someone to make a movie out of a book. Especially a book that is widely-popular, with alot of hype placed upon it. Cos simply there's a reason why it is famous (or infamous, depends who looks at it.) in the first place. Can the movie find that reason and portray it in good light? Producers take a gamble in such ventures.

When I saw that they made a movie out of 'The Da Vinci Code', I thought it was kinda cool. Cos I didn't read the book. Weird huh? Reason being I saw the book at every corner when it was being cradled by society then. I hate to jump aboard a wagon simply cos everyone is on it. haha! That's why, I didn't read it. The movie proved to be a good chance to allow myself to be exposed to *drum roll* "The Code". ----=}>

If a person had not read the book, like me, it would be a wonderful movie. I would be disgusted by the number of stars given to it by the critics. The number is kinda like the number of star(s) in our lonely Singapore skies. =P I think the highest I saw was a 2 out of 5. Sigh. It's not that bad actually. It moves along at a fast pace; with alot of facts thrown in for good measure. But the problem lies with alot of facts and fast pace. They don't usually go together, unless you offer people a free 2nd viewing with their movie tix, at least the audience can digest half of what's going on.

Alot of times, the movie brushes through the facts presented in the book like a runaway train. The director probably felt that all he had to do was to list out all the facts just like how the book did. But a book can list; and a movie just can't do that. I couldn't recall how many times in the movie, I was, like, "What was that?" But Robert Langdon aka Tom Hanks ignored my pleas to repeat what he said and went on his role in the movie.

For a storyline that emphasizes on conspiracies since 'Everybody loves a conspiracy.', the history behind it is important. A conspiracy would not be plotted out of nothing at all. It would be a complete waste of time. There has to be something serious behind it to justify all the efforts behind this conspiracy. But because all the facts went by like a mad bulll, all I could see were the puff of smoke left behind. And I was left with the main gist of this guy, the girl and a cripple after the Holy Grail which the movie slowly sheds light on (but not the history behind it), with some killer monk at their heels. Yes, it sounds like a very exciting plot, because it really is. But compared to the book, the feeling of suspense and intrigue it stimulates is completely different. Sadly, the movie fades in comparison.

Oh, what was the title of the movie? Some guy's name right? Hm, right, Da Vinci. The movie places so little emphasize on Da Vinci that I almost forgot alot of clues were forged out of his brainchilds. This is one aspect where the movie suffers. The name 'Da Vinci' is mentioned or brought into the spotlight in quick flashes through the movie that it doesn't quite serve up to this name becoming the title of the movie at all.

I guess it is difficult to make a movie out of this book anyway. Conspiracy or not, it treads too much on seriousness. It discusses controversial topics on Christianity, a religion. And we all know how sensitive religion is. Besides that, with so many people already reading the book and expectation at so high a level, it's hard to meet at that level. Unless, there are more people like me who watched the movie before reading the book. I would have written the review for the movie already and after reading the book... Dang! But it's too late, my wonderful review is on the way to the press.

For a movie to base itself largely on so many years of history and be kept strangely accurate and believable, it is a tremendous task. It has to be kept a movie and not become a documentary while feeding the graveness of the situation to the audiences' small and under-utilized gray matter. Just pray they understand.

Unlike other book-to-movie productions, Da Vinci Code can only bank on it's controversial history which excites everyone's conspiracy mind. 'Lord of the Rings' has its glorious effects, lovable characters, breathtaking sceneries, awe-inspiring storyline and not to mention, its vast body count. All these play all the factors towards it being a wonderful movie. Who cares if the movie left out any supposedly major parts from the book? I know it took my breath away. I always felt something after hearing Aragorn's prep speeches before a fight to the death with the legions of orcs.

Take 'Minority Report'. It's futuristic technology and perfect crimeless society. With a little conspiracy thrown inside to spice up the plot even further. Another perfect book-to-movie conversion.

Let's go for one more. 'A Walk to Remember'. I'm sure everyone who has watched it will at least, feel that pinch in their hart. In normal circumstances, a packet of tissue should suffice. Haha! These are just some of the better book-to-movie productions. Probably the reason for these books being famous is easier to grasp and the directors have no qualms at all in showing the audience for what the book really is.

The characters are boring too. With so many things crammed on their shoulders in such a short time, I thought they were going to suffocate. I don't know, they seem lifeless while going after the elusive Holy Grail. Okie, not really lifeless, but lacking that personality. And does Langdon have superpowers? The way the words jump out from the anagram. Whoa! Abit exaggeration there. Even when I haven't read the book, I had this thought. With X3 around the corner, that thought strengthened further. Somehow, the book brings his solving the anagram in a subtle manner with regards to his talent in such things as opposed to powers-like abilities. Prolly the book has more space and time to add in the characters' background bit by bit, where all the bits forms his/her personality, if not, most of the big picture.

Take Silas for example, in the movie, he's this bad ass monk that self-mutilates himself with a cilice and some thick blood-soaked rope (forgot the actual name) which he uses to make his back bleed. OuCh! Yet, some humanity is shown in the book, or rather, it's described how his humanity was stripped away from him by society, largely due to his dysfunctional family background and his albino condition. So at times in the book, I could feel some pity for him, wondering how much the religion he believes in can push him. It's amazing how one's beliefs can push them beyond certain, can I say, inhumane boundaries, simply just for the question of faith.

Don't mind me, but I'm someone who likes to emphatize with the antagonists. Be it a game, book, or film, the introduction of the villian proves to be something more interesting for me than the entranc of the hero. I find every creation of the antagonists to be most successful when people actually feel for them but at the same time, they still need to be punished for the things they have committed. Sigh... such a cruel hand of justice. But it's still needed though. Sometimes, I get more thrill understanding villians (if they are made out to be worth understanding...) than cheering the protagonists on all the time. Haha! That's just me. ^^

In any case, they are some better moments in the movie as compared to the book. I like the part where Teabing describes the hidden meanings contained within 'The Last Supper'. Even though there are one or two points omitted out from the book, the visual aids bring out the effect in a very convincing way. Seriously, if you follow along without thinking too much, you will really go along the flow and believe whatever he says. Very nice effect there.

The conclusion is also nicely done in the movie. I can feel the sense if fulfilment in everything when Langdon bowed down in front of Magdalene's tomb at the Lourve. Although his sense of inspiration is abit off, imagine cutting himself while shaving then seeing his blood swirl in the sink, all these is supposed to set his brain cells working and solving the riddle? I don't know, abit hard for me to believe.

Anyway, these are just some of my thoughts regarding 'The Da Vinci Code'. Notice I didn't touch on anything regarding the church or Christianity at all. Haha! Just decided to concentrate more on the movie aspects as it being just an action thriller kinda movie. Ooh.. don't wanna step on controversial religious topics in my blog. =x

I would give the movie a passing grade, and not degrade it all the way, even though it had degrade the book in some way. At the very least, it had captured alot of scenes from the actual places and yup, all the architectural design is beautiful. This will help in visualising whatever the book had described. If you like the book, then it's worth a watch. Even if you step out of the cinema shaking your head, well, at least, you'll appreciate the book even more. Whatever it is, you win. Haha! =p

No dense canoes!
(I'll end with a simple anagram, and no, it's does not lead to anything controversial.)

Lonely miser wives!
(And... hm, a personal message)

Cheerios people! ^^

Yeah, I've been watching American Idol since they had four contestants left. I always figured this would be the best time to catch it as I can't see myself following through the whole show. It gets a little boring seeing the show painfully eliminating contestant by contestant, week by week.

Now it gets exciting. Well worth my time. Dang! Was I disappointed last week when Chris Daughtry got voted out. He wasn't exactly my fav on the list but he was still good with his rock-like voice and attitude. Oh well, tough luck.

Elliot Yamins got voted out tonight. Sux. I was kinda hoping that if someone had to be kicked this week, Taylor guy would get the boot. Anyway, I'm rooting for Katharine. I've a feeling she will win.

Yeah, before anyone goes tsk, tsk 'cos she's a girl and I'm a guy and all, but it is true, she looks the best out of the 3, doesn't she? Oohh... ^^ But if you listened to her rendition of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' last week, your breath will be taken away too. My, her vocals sound so splendid. That song seemed so touching all of a sudden. Definitely one of the best. If you ask me, I think she sounds a little like Christina Aguilera. Go ahead and remove all the slutty image and impression from Aguilera, you have to admit that she does have very powerful vocals.

The votes were really close tonight. All within the range of 33.00+%. Haha! I wonder if this is all true or prolly just a gimmick to create excitement on international television.

Katharine's definitely the idol worth winning!

We'll see.

Sometimes, you draw from experiences which you come across everyday, and sometimes, you shun those which give you fear, insecurity and sadness. Let's face it, no one likes to tread along such experiences.

Those past two unexpected experiences brought out my unexpected feelings. At that moment, I felt like putting on an invisible cloak and pass her by silently... h3ll, my existence could have always been like that all along with her anyway. Prolly, I'm just worth nothing...

And I was thinking, why should it be my problem? It's my problem she can't see the good in me? What gives? Another one of those warped logic.

I'm saying all this now. But at those moments, be it last time or when I saw her again... Everything just feels so strangely different, and I would disagree with my current myself.

"People are fearful to care as much because they are afraid the other party may not care as much as they do."

Ever since I laid eyes on this fact, I began to grow more and more closer to it. Maybe 'cos I touched it myself. Why should I care as much for somebody who don't give a damn? Haha! Can I just laugh at myself? 'Cos be it a natural instinct for a guy or should I say, a human, I or We still do.

Care first and get hurt later. My slogan for the moment. Prolly the latter may not always come true but that doesn't mean they never come true. We are all such silly beings; we go plunging down into the ravine when we know that somebody may not be there to catch us. But we play on that word 'may', and take a gamble and pray, hope, wish or whatever that we can close that chapter of the book with a happy ending.

After losing my gamble, well, I'm afraid now. Honestly, deep down, I'm afraid. Call me a weakling! Call me a sore loser! Call me a lousy guy! Call me stupid! Really, I force myself not to care that much for another simply 'cos they may not care as much as I do. It's like this tourniquet I entwined around my hart, to stop the blood or feelings from flowing out again. For now, I know it'll make my Life feel so much easier.

I have friends who seemingly form a crush with every girl they meet. Correction, with almost every girl they spend time with. It's like there's this long queue that stretches forever. I'm not really capable of that. If love strikes at the hart so often, I think it isn't something so special anymore, isn't it?

Prolly, the last time, I've really touched something that tender and sweet with her which I've not been able to put my finger on again. Right at that moment, even though, it could only have been my first time falling, reaching out and caring for that someone, I could have touched that actual thing. Whatever it is... it was there.

This small insignificant and so significant difference makes a whole lot of difference in everything. And that's the tiny difference I'm prolly looking for again. I can't really explain it that explicitly, it's one of those things you've gotta experience in Life to know what the h3ll I'm talking about now. It may even be defined differently for everyone. Just gotta look for ya own definition.

I think... I know I've found mine. What's left is that someone to fulfill that difference and stand on my definition.

This difference would apply across everyone I will meet. There would be no more excuse or reason that 'cos she resembles her, that's why I like her. So who are you loving again? It's really unfair to the other party whom has unknowingly just stood in the shadow of another. What if one day the light goes off? And the shadow is gone? What you see is what you get. So the loving stops there and then? Or do you pretend that things should just go on as it is 'cos it has been going on as it?

If you don't get it yet, this is an extremely painful experience for the other party. Their sense of existence, self-worth and uniqueness will take a blow.

With that difference which I feel about another, screw the light and the shadows. She would be standing on her own in my own realm. A difference never changes. Ever.

I'm glad she had allowed me to discover that and understand a little more about myself. Unknown to some, but the arrival of her in my Life led to the opening of my hart and I realised that hey, I really liked the English Language and the way the words and writing touches other people in a unique and private way.

Actually, I've put everything behind me. But from time to time, I guess such things catch up to you for a while, just like the past consecutive two days. And then, they lag behind again as you shake them off. I ask myself -

Why should I have that strange fear of her? Why should I avoid her like the plague? Why can't I rush up and say a mere 'hi'? Or a 'how are you doing'? Will there be anything wrong in that? Things come and things go.

Regarding everything about her, I feel I've been shortchanging myself too much; putting myself beneath her. Not her fault, it's just me. She always been so non-chalant about me anyway. I'm sure there'll be that difference in me which another girl will come along and notice in me, maybe hopefully, me in her.

Does everything happen for a reason?

I think so. Without meeting her for those brief moments after so long a time without making contact with one another, I'll never realize her existence has been tagging along with me for so many years. I have chosen to shy away from this fear of her, thinking I'm doing oh-so-well emotionally, all the while denying like an insane guy, that I don't give a damn about her anymore. Alas, denial doesn't work at all. 'Cos I seriously do give quite alot of damn about her although no one knows.

But that's enough. I'll not throw myself off for her. I see her standing at the top of the ravine now. She'll never be standing at the bottom. I'll appreciate the moment more if I have the chance to see her again. It could be rare but it will be special. I'll personally find out how she's doing this time; no more sickening slo-mos anymore. Facing her again means dragging that 'little' me out of some secluded corner in my hart and for once, maybe I'll co-exist with him, ya.

She once happened in my Life; She once sparked off something unknown in me; She once gave me the chance to care. Now, she is once an old difference to me. Someday, I'll bump into another girl with my defined difference.

Haha! I've never once gave this thing so much thought before. 'Cos I've never actually bothered to confide this topic of conversation with anyone before, (rather ashamed of that to all my friends who bother to open up and confide in me. Ar geex... can I say sorry?). All the while, all this running away, I guess it's time for her shadow to stop sticking to mine. It's time for someone else to walk with me, or I'll carry her instead if she's tired. Lol. =P

Hm, prolly everything does happen for a reason, maybe that everything has led all the way down to why I'm sitting down here in the afternoon, typing this really long entry which I think few will make it through its ranting contents to the end. The more I think about it, strangely, the past two days seem... special. For the fact that it was rather rare. Imagine meeting that once-special person two days in two places in a row?

Will I bump into a difference again? Maybe around the next corner? After so long? Hm, probably...

This is my train of thought and you have just arrived at the last station of everything, I guess.

Miraculously, this train had been running for so long, so long. I think it had enough too, like me. It's time for it to come to this last station and retire from the scene. It feels good to think everything through and know that you have allowed things to come to a small tiny '.' .

Moving on? haha! Yup, moving on.

I suppose I still have my tourniquet on. I have a friend asking me what a 'tourniquet' is this afternoon. It's an improvised thing used in first aid. It's improvised 'cos the whole system works as a tourniquet. You tie the bandage in a certain way, insert a stick-like thing (like a pen.) in it and simply twist to tighten. It's mainly used to stop the bleeding or the blood from flowing to other parts of the body. For example, maybe to prevent the spread of venom if you get a snake bite. I was from St. Johns so I know a little. Lol.

A tourniquet is seldom used 'cos it hurts alot and not very healthy for a part of the body to have a lack in blood. That's why it's called first aid, still gotta wait for the ambulance to arrive.

End.

Can you believe it? 'Cos I sure can't.

Do you believe in coincidence? Or does everything really happen for a reason?

What the h3ll is going on?

I've seen again. I've seen her again. I'm pretty sure, 'cos she was looking my way this time.

Was at Citilink Mall, at the escalator that was going down from 'the asian kitchen' when the slo-mo struck again. I couldn't believe my eyes. Or maybe, my eyes couldn't believe themselves. I was on my way down the escalator, while she was on her way up. Though, this time, she wasn't alone; she was with another female friend. A nice conversation was going on between them, with smiles and laughter in between. I don't think she recognizes me anymore; I think I've gone through some physical changes after so many years, especially after being in the army. But I still recognize her, I suppose.

All this, in a span of say, 5 sec??

I think my eyes felt doubtful but somehow, I could feel my hart being doubly sure.

She still looks the same. Light blue top with a little pattern at the front; Denim jeans; white-strap sandals; slightly different glasses (what was the colour of the frame? pink? purple? purplish-pink? it's a blur to me now.); copper-dyed long hair; lovely face; warm smile; attractive laughter... Her face, yes, her face hardly changed at all, if not, only a slight touch of maturity. The same face from yesterday. The way her hair frames up all the pretty features on her face in a unique mannerism. Her imperfection embodied into that one perfect stature which makes one wonder she couldn't possibly still be single now. She still looked pleasant. Even from a distance, everything felt the same about her. The only difference would be the dyed hair from the usual black. Yeah... that's all.

Geez... What was all that about?? I can't imagine the thoughts that are running through my mind at the moment. Why is there still the palpatations?

I know I'm over it.

2x in 2 days in 2 completely different places. I'm feeling so screwed up inside now. Ugh! Stupid LiOnHaRt.

I thought I was over it. Yeah, I know I am over it, years ago. So... why did she jump out?

I met someone while on my way for a swim today. Or rather, I brushed past someone today. A really quick one, but a really close one. A pity she was looking the other way. A pity I wasn't looking the other way. And...

I saw her. It could be her or someone that closely resembles her. You know how people say, 'There's always another person in another part of the world which would resemble you.' So that may probably be true. I'm not so sure, you know... At that moment, my eyes tried to take in as much information as possible before I only saw her back view. I could have taken a few steps back and caught up with her (if it really is her to begin with, prolly not huh...) but I didn't... didn't want to chase after this illusion. For what?

I couldn't be bothered.

But I'm sure something jogged in my memory. In a hidden archive somewhere in my mind. An archive which I've reckon I probably would never need to uncover again. A little profile about someone which a little part of me still holds dear, I guess. Simply 'cos I don't have the courage to kill him off, and rip that profile to shreds.

No matter how much one tries to forget, a memory always nestles itself somewhere and leaps out again at any opportune time. Well, she leapt out today. Hm, and I swam it off vigorously today too. It was surprising how the little things like this are able to bring out the bigger things. H3ll, there wasn't anything worthwhile to begin with or remember, then again... I feel like a complete idiot.

My God, "What is wrong with me then?" Is it even right, or should I say, normal, for someone to hold onto something that isn't there or rather, had not been there, at all?! It irks me to think that I may still have a soft spot for... and it scares me as well. Why must I act in this way?

And I thought guys were supposed to be tougher, 'take and let go' and the sort of stuff. No problemo, no worries and that sort of thing. *clenches fist* Yet, with such a mere mention of simple things, it sometimes bring about a whole new detested face of my hart that I've chosen to ignore all these years.

(Don't have the courage to kill that little 'me' off, maybe 'cos if I do that, I'll probably lose that bit of my 'feeling' self that has been left... and I may end up being some 'unfeeling' bAstard...)

Experienced a slo-mo today, when everything in the past happened way too fast. Too fast for me.

'Some people want it all,
But I don't want nothing at all.
If it ain't you,
if I ain't got you.
Some people want diamond rings,
Some just want everything.
But everything means nothing,
if I ain't got you.'

I've been listening to Alicia Keys' songs again. Simply beautiful. She's one of those really talented singer/songwriter whom I really love. Up there is the chorus of one of my fav song of hers.

Haha! I really love the intro portion of the song. Sounds simple, clean and sleek... ooh. Nice intro. =P

Or I was contemplating between that title at the top of this post, and another title.

"A Fuming Eskimo."

But I decided on this chosen title instead.

The story begins. Person A and Person B invited LiOnHaRt and Person D to go drinking at Eski Bar, a sub zero bar (actually, only partially sub-zero, cos only a room was sub-zero.) I was expecting the whole place to be sub-zero. =P

Guess what? Person A and Person B were actually not that free on that night, but still the invitation went out. Before everything, person A had mentioned that he could only come at 12am. Yes, 12am?!? What for, right? Yup, I can see ya reaction, cos that's my reaction. So Person A accommodated LiOnHaRt and mentioned he would make it at 11pm. Right, LiOnHaRt could only accept that.

All these happened the day before the 'fuming eskimo' night. The 'final-and-not-so-finalized' plan was to meet at 8pm, at Orchard, to take a bus together to Eski Bar.

When the evening came, Person B mentioned that he could only come at 10pm. Okie, fine. LiOnHaRt still had Person D to depend on. So the 'now-finalized-but-still-not-so-finalized' plan changed a little from going to the bar at 8pm to 10pm. Person D and LiOnHaRt burned off the excess time by exchanging driving skills at Initial D.

LiOnHaRt and Person D arrived at Eski Bar at 10pm. Hm, no Person B around. Never mind. LiOnHaRt called Person B, hm, no answer. Never mind. Person D called Person A to ask if he'll really make it at 11pm, 'cos he has a notoriety. No answer also. Never mind. LiOnHaRt and Person D decided to go in there for a seat 1st, it wasn't too cold for comfort anyway, and LiOnHaRt is adverse to the heat and not the cold. They had a seat for 4, with 2 empty seats there. Just do the math, ya. =p It's amazing we could still get seats.

The crowd started to pour in. Countless people asked LiOnHaRt if they could take the seat, but he mentioned he had friends coming in. Well, supposedly. LiOnHaRt and Person D gave another call to Person B and A respectively again. Right, no answer. It was 11pm... never mind.

To avoid embarrassment, the two of them ordered 2 bottles of beer 1st, to secure their placing in the bar. By that time, think the waitress there felt LiOnHaRt was a psychopath with 2 imaginary friends already. But, never mind. 12am gradually came. Person A's initial plan of coming at 12am didn't come true. His notorious character came true again. LiOnHaRt started to mind. Person A just kept saying he was coming, coming. God knows if he was coming or... just coming. =s Person B became M.I.A. no reply, no answer to any calls made throughout the night. LiOnHaRt really started to mind.

But LiOnHaRt still counted on the fact that Person D was around. LiOnHaRt felt like a Fuming Eskimo inside; but the anger wouldn't help anything but worsen the situation between Person D and himself. So the mood was still calm, time passed on as LiOnHaRt talked with Person D about everything under the sun, or the moon, actually. =l

1230am. Person A said he was on a cab. So much for coming huh? Person B, still M.I.A. no reply, no answer. LiOnHaRt minded, the 'never' word couldn't find any reason for it to exist before 'mind' anymore. Both LiOnHaRt and Person D held on to whatever little sanity they still had after sitting through almost 3 hours with 2 imaginary friends. The waitress couldn't be bothered to ask LiOnHaRt anymore. The lavas of embarrassment churned round and round within a fuming Eskimo in Eski Bar.

1am. LiOnHaRt couldn't be bothered to care anymore. That was when Person A came. Great, he really was coming. Bah! Person B finally replied LiOnHaRt's sole sms and countless calls. Person B had gotten drunk at another gathering before this and was coming now. Great, everyone is always coming but never here. Seriously, LiOnHaRt had reached the threshold of mindness. Just sitting there, in the cold, expecting 2 other 'coming' friends was excruciating.

Person B arrived at 130am. 'Nuff said.

Oh well, that's my story for the night. God, I was really fuming then and if Person D had not accompanied me, sanity would never allow me to stay there. It was just pointless. But that was then and I've forgotten any ill feelings that had developed in that Fuming Eskimo skin. It's a clean slate again.

At least, Person A and Person B didn't abandon everything totally and made the effort to still join their other 2 imaginary friends in the end. Yeah, in the end.

Prolly, that's what people mean by, 'Better late than never.'

For 2 of us to keep waiting and waiting there and when they finally came, we kinda forgot any grudges anymore. On a more important note, 'That's what friends are for' ba.

Haha! I've realized I've forgotten my initial aim in this entry. I guess I just needed an avenue to release something about last night.

Actually, wanted to mentioned something about the essence of drinking. Person A had mentioned in another blog that he hated the taste of alcohol already. I was thinking, how can that be possible?

Prolly 'cos he gotten drunk the other time. That's the sucky thing when someone drinks. It is a rule in drinking that you don't get drunk. Oh well, at least, that's my rule. It just spoils the fun and wonders in drinking. The appreciation is gone and you might as well start drinking water; it's cheaper and healthier.

Before anyone starts flaming me about the getting drunk part, I'm sure the people who founded liquors didn't meant it for people to get drunk. But rather, it's like a classy thing that brings appreciative people together to enjoy this little creation of a wonder in Life and at the same time, socialise and make friends. That's how drinking socialises people around.

If everyone got drunk through excessive drinking. What the f*ck? How to socialise or make friends? Very few people are actually at their best when drinking. Many are at their ugliest.

There's also a threshold that everyone has. Some can drink more while others, prolly just a little. Haha! But jokes aside regarding small thresholds, I don't find it a disgrace that you can't hold your liquor well, at the very least, it is commendable that you know how to appreciate liquor and know when to stop before you start to abuse it as if it were something as cheap as water.

That's why, 'Drink, don't Drunk' It's a very good way to enjoy the finer things in Life with lovers, friends and families. So long as the letters don't change while drinking, alcohol and liquor will always remain to be a very wonderful thing, albeit quite expensive actually. Haha! But that's not the point now. =Pp

Just thought up another title for this long entry. So I'll just end with it.

'Late friends are still my good friends.'

Just... just refrain from doing it often, ya. (actually, doing it again ba.) Okie, freezios everyone!!! (^^)

Nah, I'm not really lost. I've just been catching up with the television series, 'Lost' which I've been missing for the past few weeks. Other entertainment avenues came into the picture and I was pulled away from being 'Lost' ba. Haha! Or maybe I should say, my bandwidth is full with other er... commitments. I'm sick of chasing after the lagging Singapore broadcast when the Americans have it showing that far into the series le.

It's an excellent series to catch. Definitely not a waste of time, at least it's only an hour an episode. The directors have placed alot of effort in creating very interesting characters and I greatly appreciate that. It's been a while since I've seen an intriguing show with a compelling storyline and lovable (... or hate-able characters.).

Last time, 'Smallville' comprised of those elements, and it ails me to mention this, given that I've always been a loyal fan, but i have to admit that it is draggy now. I don't really have that past urges to chase after every episode. But, yes there's a but, I still like that show, on a personal basis.

Anyway, back to getting 'Lost', I find that the whole show falls under one giant umbrella.

"Everything happens for a reason."

That's just my intepretation. Cos I feel that's how the producers wanted to portray everything. Notice how they always link up person A with person B on the island, with them seemingly knowing each other from scratch but at the end of it all, it is revealed that they have met each other before at some point in Life but memory fails to serve up.

All this is pretty interesting, don't you think? Think about it, everyone you 'happen' to meet in the streets or the things that you do may involved someone totally 'unknown' to you and as you roll down the Hills of Life, that 'unknown' becomes 'known' and the two of you mean a whole lot more to each other than you can ever imagine.

Yeah, I like this idea of Life alot. It makes a prolly mundane Life become filled with a lot more things to discover and alot of strangers may not be as strange as they may be. You never know how many times another's crossroads may keep tangle with yours, just because we don't bother to notice it.

This is just a feeling I get from getting 'Lost'.

But even after having said all that, I find that only by having a third-person perspective, where you stand on the outside and looking in... only then can you notice such things. Otherwise, how else is it possible to appreciate such small little minute details in Life?

It may be a small world out there, but at the same time, it's filled with many people and things to discover.

Get 'Lost', everybody!!! (^^)

"Love is patient, Love is kind,
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud, it is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrong.

Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.

Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.

Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endure all things.

Love never ends.

Love never fails."

I've used this quote in my latest diary entry. And personally, I find it to be one of my significant entries, so I decided to share this significance with my blog as well, and of course, with everyone else reading my chronicles. Call it a little snippet. haha! Cheerios! (^^)

Right, hope I didn't sound too petty about comments and stuff in my last entry. 'Cos sincerely, I appreciate greatly that friends of mine already grace their persence in my little blog, haha! with or without comments whatsoever, bah! They don't really matter but that doesn't mean I don't care about comments hor... haha! ^Peace People!^

Okie, went to watch MI3 with my friends on Thursday night. Actually, the initial plan was to play pool and maybe a little Initial D (hm, seems like we can't live without it nowadays.), but guess it turned out to be an outing with Tom Cruise instead. It is an action-packed-to-the-brim show and in another sense, it's also another hollow movie, 'cos I don't really have much to say about it as it simply has too many cliches present in all MI movies. Kinda like change a few characters but leave Tom Cruise behind, prevent him dying through countless adversaries and there you have it! MI4, 5, 6, and the list goes on...

But it is definitely a movie worth catching since there aren't many good action movie lying around anyway. So it's a must-watch! It's pretty entertaining; you'll enjoy it thoroughly. I know I did. ^^

While controlling battalions of army in Battle for Middle Earth; racing my way up underground ladders in NFS (Need for Speed) series; navigating through curvy mountainous paths in Initial D; braving and destroying the evils in DOOM; uncovering conspiracies in Half Life 2; controlling countless artificial lives in The Sims 2; veering between the hands of good and evil in Black and White 2 and creating award-winning movies and superstars in The Movies... I just realized something.

I sux at MSN games. argh!

Haha! I don't know, prolly I just don't play well at them. Ever since introduced to it, with courtesy of babycarrot, I challenged a few of my friends. And... I've. Not. Won. A. Single. Game. Pathetic right? Yeah, that's what I thought so too, after reading what I typed out. Haha! Oh well, maybe I'm just not good at it, or a small probability that I'm still not used to it. But I know one thing.

I still enjoy playing it. haha! Yup.

Playing a game ain't really about winning. it's the fun that goes in the process that matters. I guess in playing a game, there's more fun but a little less kick in losing to a friend than winning an AI.

So I'll still take up any challenge! One day, I'll turn the tables. =P

Yeah, one day. One fine day. oh man...

Thinking of changing the wallpaper in my blog, it kinda makes it gloomier than it really is. Do you think so? I'll try finding one that suits my feelings and this blog.

"Life is like taking an elevator. It constantly goes up and down. And along the way, you will meet people who will take it up and down with you. Most importantly, you will find your own elevator attendant who will accompany you to any floor you wish."

I don't know whether I've read or heard of this before (I think so...) or another of my silly brainchilds but it just happened to surface in my mind. Found it rather fun and interesting, so there it is. haha!

Hm, and just realized that out of all my previous entries, out of all my guy friends who know about this blog, they hardly leave their comments 'cept for entry/ies which had suggestive themes. =s My, what horny friends I have... haha! =P I guess guys will be guys... wait a minute, I'm also a guy, hm, never mind, forget about that last statement. =pP

No wonder the society constantly screams, "SEX SELLS!!!"

Hm, think I overdid it today or prolly the sun was too scorching. I'm so tired from swimming around today. Haha! Right, nothing kinda 'around', just swimming in the pool. I slept for 2 hours straight upon reaching home. Zzzzz... and here I am, awake in the mortal realm once again, clearing the remnants of sleepy cobwebs in my still-cloudy mind. =Pp

Enough about that. What I do want to say is... for the first time in my Life, I almost stumbled upon an embarrassing act. Hm, I don't know if I can call it embarassing but since they almost did it in public, it's gotta be huh? I don't know.... shucks. Okie, does anyone know Toa Payoh well? You know the overhead bridge leading out from the air-conditioned bus interchange into the Toa Payoh park area? The connecting portion right next to Popular, the bookstore?

Yup, it was at the exit end of the bridge, the place where the stairwell is situated. I don't exactly know how to describe it so just picture something in your mind, ya? But if you know that area well, hm, yeah, it's kinda isolated. Especially in the afternoon when hardly anyone would make their way to the parks under the blazing sun. I happened to make my way home from the swimming complex and was using the bridge to get back to my bus.

As I was walking towards the stairwell, I saw this couple, with the girl (or woman... think it's a woman.) standing against the corner and the guy was standing in front of her. (okie, don't picture any of this, but just read nonchalantly about it.) At first, my mind couldn't register any of it, but as I inched nearer... oh. The woman was either gonna going to undo his pants or putting it on. 'Cos she was tugging at the belt or adjusting at the belt. All of this, in a secluded corner where only people pass by after a good swim. haha! =P

My take was that they weren't finishing it up. From the side, I could see the guy's expression, it was a look of anticipation, not a look of satisfaction. I hope, all you grown-ups know what I mean.

Yah, I'm sure you do.

Yeah, you do.

I guess they were about to engage in... 'cos I'm sure they can't possibly... it'll be darn uncomfortable... And only the guy's pants was going down, so I suppose they were really gonna... But I wouldn't know, won't her... Right, right, I'll not go into explicit details 'lest I need a big R21 slapped across this entry. If you wanna, just allow your imagination to tickle your fantasy.

Anyway, this is the first time where I stumbled across such acts, I know we should be open and stuff, but still, there's gotta be a limit ba? So desperate meh? So lusty meh? So kinky meh? Can't find a more comfortable place to do it? or maybe the question is posing back to me, I'm not open enough meh? Bah, I wouldn't do it, that's for sure and it ain't the question of being open and stuff.

Haha! Before any of my guy friends ask why I didn't stay to ahem... watch. Besides the morally unethical thing to do, you've gotta realize they haven't started yet, God knows, how long they'll really do it if they do it? I can't see myself just standing there. And I was in the open, right along the overhead bridge, going towards to the stairwell. Where the f*ck do I stand? If they see me, then goner le, they'll be embarrassed and I'll be embarrassed. Manz... no good, no good. *shakes head* So I decided to just break it up before the show started. Works for all 3 of us.

To prove my confirmation further, they hurriedly, yes, in a panicky manner too, resolved everything between them and went out of the stairwell in the same direction as I was heading. As I walked past them, they gave me darted looks, haha! but I didn't care, as I returned their darts, =) like a guy who doesn't give a damn about breaking their about-to-be moment in a freaking isolated stairwell. =D

Ooh.. how much I wanted to turn back and say, "You may carry on now." =Pp

But of course, I didn't. Oh shucks.... =s

I can actually play PS2 games on Windows. WoW!

Right, okie.

I lied. haha! =P

I guess I should say I can 'see' PS2 games, 'cos frankly, it's running too slow to be playable. Imagine abt an avg of 18 fps (frame per sec) and for FFX (Final Fantasy X), a pathetic 2 fps. Gosh, these statistics sux. But anyway, I still find it cool to actually see the graphics of PS2 grace upon Windows. Prolly gotta wait till they release a seriously working emulator. From what I gather, the current emulators do actually work but they require massive amount of horsepower from the processor which I don't know who the h*ll will own. So in a practical sense, the emulator isn't a working one.

Hope the team of members on these PS2 emulators project work harder. Go Go Go!!! =p

Anyway, yesterday was Labour Day. But I was delegated the task of clearing my stuff in my cupboard, 'cos we could be moving house and I wouldn't be around at that time. Prolly will be writing or typing some thesis in a little corner right at Down Under and the deadline's gonna be so so so close. Haha! Oh well, my imagination.

Right, where was I?

Oh yeah, the clearing out stuff part. Mostly, it was to separate my age-old toys into the 'Want' and 'Don't-Want' pile. I used to collect these Marvel action figures, prolly 'cos I started reading comics too at that time. Can't help it, my father reads them too, so I might as well. haha! How'd I play these figures last time? Well, being the only child, there aren't many alternatives available to me. I used to create these imaginative worlds with the 'good' and the 'bad' and basically, they just fight it out. Haha! No reason whatsoever for the fighting, 'cos being 'good' and 'bad' is a good enough reason to fight it out already, isn't it? =P Yeah, yeah, childish me, but I was still child then! Though now, it never hurts to keep that bit of child's innocence, positive outlook and humour somewhere in the heart huh?

I remembered about a bible quote but can't recall exactly how it goes, but something like that, "To enter heaven, we have to be or think like a child again." Something like that, food for your starving mind. =)

By having a blog and an OD, sometimes, I also don't know where to pen my thoughts. Wherever I feel like, wherever I go, I guess. haha! As they say in Chinese, er... what was it? 'Ping2 Gan3 Jue1'? I hope I haven't got the hanyu pinyin wrong. Haha! Actually, I'm still pretty confident about my chinese, all thanks to CoMiCs!!! They really do help with chinese and what's more, they help with conversing in chinese as well, since 95% of comics revolve around characters talking to one another. 'Yi1 Jian4 Shuang1 Diao1' Okie, this idiom should be correct too, right? haha!

So a secret formula to all chinese teachers who have difficulty relating to English-minded kids nowadays.... Use comics!!! I believe they make chinese seem so much more interesting. And... prolly this is just a side-note, but I don't know, when we studied Chinese, I've not met a single chinese teacher which could be a whole lot more er.... easier on the eye? Ooh, I think I sounded rather shallow with that comment, but correct me gently if that's not the truth. All of my chinese teachers are all middle-aged or I could even say, old. Behind their exterior, they may possess vast knowledge of the language, hey, maybe even the history behind it, but they appear B O R I N G. It's a chore to even remain awake during lesson.

Oh well, prolly, that was only how it was when I was learning Chinese. The kids nowadays could be getting the better end of the stick now. Yet, there are still so much squabbling about the language. I prefer to use 'squabbling' 'cos I think everything is such a pointless argument. For crying out loud, just learn the language, we are chinese after all. 'Nuff said.

I don't get it, we don't used to have such problems where the education system has to alter itself to accomodate kids who don't like chinese. Geezez, in a way, that makes it worse as it emphasizes the point that chinese may not be so important in Life after all since the ministry can make leeway for it. Prolly some people will say times have changed, but I say screw it. For all I know, the Chinese Language has such a long stretching history behind that rivals many other languages and it has even gone through many evolutions to suit the times, only to be tarnished by lazy kids in our day and age. Yeah, screw.

Not everything we learn and do has to come to a $ sign at the end, that's the point many parents and kids nowadays don't get. The phrase 'Money is the root of all evil' prolly has to change to 'Money is the root and end to everything' since the times have changed. Hm?

You know what's the irony of everything? Chinese songs are still widely popular among the population in Singapore. And we have the disinterest in Chinese at the same time. I guess it's like how Japanese and Korean songs are popular too. But people are paying to learn such languages and throwing away the free Chinese lessons. haha~! Is the Chinese songs market even larger than the English ones? I'm not sure about that.

Oh well, I can only say they don't know what they are missing as I find Chinese interesting. I already feel we are lucky that Malay isn't made compulsory even though it is our National Language, phew...

Haha! The title did say 'My Ramblings'. What I've said in the above should only be taken with a pinch of salt 'cos I'm simply just typing away without giving too much thought. They are just my ramblings after all. haha!

I'm going back to reading 'The Bourne Identity' again. Gonna be on my way to reading that trilogy again. If anyone likes the movie, you shouldn't give the book a miss. The book is very different from the movie and goes a lot deeper than that. Splendid!! =)

Oh, and I've finished watching 'The Nightmare Before Xmas'. Haha! It's a pretty old show, think from 1993, I guess I'm slow. Correction, very slow. =l It's been a while since I've laid eyes on clay animation given all the computer animation going on, but all is good. Hm, it didn't exactly appeal to me, but I still enjoyed the wildly imaginative world, very nice. All the darkness and humourous grossness portrayed in the made up Halloween world. It's worth a look. =)

I'm glad you didn't fall asleep and made it to this part of the post, which also means I'm ending it here too. Cheerios everyone! (^^)