Crowding Together

Hm, it's the school holidays now. Yes, the last time, I was elated over the long-awaited-but-exactly-enough school holidays. But that was when I was still in school, man. Everywhere I go now, it's always crowds and more crowds. With the Great Singapore Sale fever catching on, the crowds are growing like a rampant asexual amoeba. -_-

But while crowds get on my nerves sometimes, I can't really complain too much, 'cos er.. hey, I'm part of everyone that makes up 'a' crowd too. haha! So it's fun to actually observe the different qualities a crowd possess which gets on people's nerves simultaneously. I shall share my not-so-keen observation here. Just treat it as a fun read, 'cos eVeRyOnE is guilty of at least one way of irritable behaviour in my list. Oh, the order of appearance doesn't matter, I'm writing as they come to mind. Here we go!

The Couple ----> This is the most dominant in any crowd, so it's the 1st to come to my mind. Even though ironically, they say, '2s a couple and 3s a crowd.' Oh, couples doesn't necessarily mean boy-girl combo, they are many other combos to choose from, say, boy-boy, girl-girl or girl-boy (think it's the same as girl-boy though, hm.). Well, that's about it. These are the two people combo which slows down alot of the human traffic. They are indulged in their own conversations, and since humans are not good at multitasking, their leg movements slow down unconsciously. It's no one's fault, just blame our grey matter which refuses to work its half potential. When two people enjoy each other topics of conversations, they lose regard for others around. Somehow, the combo of girl-boy or boy-girl is even worse. The uncanny attraction between them slows down things by a whole notch. Thus, The Couple is a frequent sight to beware of in any crowd.

The Window Shopper(s) -----> This comes in singly or groups meaning two and above. The latter is a much major problem. Basically, they fall prey to advertising methods in the big glass windows of every shop that comes in their path. As they need to absorb as much information about the nicer things being advertised in the glass windows, they maintain their speed similar to a travelator lest they miss out on any nice stuff or wonderful promotions. The problem is, only they themselves are on their mind's traveltor. The rest of the folks are on walking speeds. Human traffic obstructed while they admire the wonderful decor of the windows even if the things being advertised may or may not have anything to do with them. Not as bad when The Window Shopper is a single person, quite easy to bypass him/her on his/her mind travelator. But if you get caught in the group version...

The E-Brakers -----> This may come independently or evolve from The Window Shopper. They are those who suddenly stop dead in their tracks for whatever reason not explained in little thought bubbles. While drivers on the road hate it when the driver in front of him/her suddenly applies the E-brakes for God-knows what reason. The same irritable factor applies in us, pedestrains too. While drivers have the option to not tailgate, it's sad that we don't. In a crowd, our environment forces us to follow closely behind to someone else. So we have no choice. I can't really the countless times I had to prevent myself from hitting these E-brakers. And I think that effect goes down a couple more rows of people too. The simple evolution of The Window Shoppers happens whenever he/she/they spot something worth their while. Wham! Zam! Bam!

The Handphone Hogging er... Hog (THHH) -----> Another classic of disregard for surroundings when these people appear. The principle lies very similar to The Couple where they get involved in some worthwhile conversations, dragging them further and further into the phone conversations when their physical frame still lies in our realm, blocking the paths of people who wish to get to their destinations without feeling all jittery inside. At least, most of them come singly, so it's not that difficult to brush past them. Hey, they wouldn't even know you brushed past them anyway. An 'excuse me' wouldn't work well already, as in a crowd, some people can hardly concentrate hearing those two words well with two ears, let alone THHH having only one ear available.

The Dragon Dance Troupe -----> This would always make the biggest group of them all. They come in groups of four or more, no less. As they enjoy the company of being friends and all and since no one wants to be left out in the conversation, they instinctively form this line that crosses everyone's path. And note, I mean everyone. The line cannot be distinctly seen as people force their way through, forming this illusion that no line is present. But when you get close enough, you'll find yourself being blocked off. Look to your left, look to your right, you'll see a line of people moving at the same slow speed. No choice but to break through. Luckily, this sight does not happen too often, only when these groups of friends seriously need to bond that strongly that you'll encounter The Dragon Dance Group. If you can just imagine the amount of effort the persons at the end need to strain to listen to the on-going conversations, sometimes, it's just not worth it.

The Invisible Toddlers -----> The little kids who exist in an age not suitable for prams anymore, and they are still at that minute size that still leaves alot to be desired. They are invisible to us simply 'cos the light they reflect is too far below to reach our eyes. But they are there, never belittle them. By far, this is the worst predicament to be in. Why, you may ask? Many a times, I've tried to walk forward into a seemingly empty spot when my instincts tell me to watch out? That's when I stop in my tracks, only to see a small kid down there, without any idea that he/she was about to be knocked down. Notice I've become an E-braker too, while stopping for The Invisible Toddlers. Oh, to add another thing, if you do, unfortunately, knock down one, and he/she has a very very low threshold for pain or shock, be prepared for a frustration and guilt trip when everything wasn't your fault in your 1st place. How can you be blamed for something you can't have known huh? So in a crowd, sometimes, you have no choice but to walk behind one, and look at the illusionary empty space in front of you that you could have just walked forward on, if not for their existence.

There's a close cousin to The Invisible Toddlers, known affectionately as The Z Kids. They do not deserve their own place in crowds as they can't exist in major crowds. But in a lesser crowd, these kids emerge. Be it running towards their parents or towards something which greatly interest them, they end up running in a Z formation, thus coining thier brand name. When they come at you head-on, there's no way you can make an effort to avoid their random Z patterns. The only way sensible idea is to slow down or stop and allow them to make the effort of by-passing you. The Z Kids... not as dangerous but still a nuisance.

The Mirror Image -----> They are people who simply love this childhood game, Simon Says. But we share a unique relationship with each other when we meet one. In their view point, we are one ourselves. These are the people we meet head on in a collision course. But being sensible humans which we tend to forget sometimes, we stop gracefully for each other. Here, the game starts. I don't know if it's in every human mind or something, we will start to mirror each other moves, all in a bid to carry on our own way and allow the other party to carry on his/her way too. But being The Mirror Image which we each become, we have only made it harder for each other as we swerve to our lefts and rights for a couple of times at the same time before recovering our senses. Argh! As above, the only sensible is to allow the other party to make his move, in doing so, breaking the chain of being The Mirror Image. Actually, it's easier said than done, I guess it's in our instincts. If you don't believe me, try making the effort to stop one day and you'll see!

The Indecisive Bulls -----> Signs of these emerging are from The E-brakers and THHH. They are the ones who decide to make a U-turn at their whim and fancy right in the centre of a major crowd and worst of all, you happen to be behind them! While walking in a crowd, logic suddenly sets in and questions them on their supposed designation. Immediately, they turn 180 on the spot and charges onwards, making up for any lost time they may have incurred on their wasted walking trip. Wham! Bam! Suddenly, you find yourself staring straight at someone's face when a mere second ago, you were seeing their backs. Even worse, they are coming down your path! When THHH is spotted, there's a chance of him/her evolving to The Indecisive Bulls, as the people they are about to meet may very well have changed the meeting point and chances are it's way over the opposite end. And again, Wham! Bam!

The Blind Walker -----> They are closely related to The Window Shoppers. But I'm not sure how to put my finger on them. Basically, something caught their eye. But unlike The Window Shoppers, they do not slow down. While their eye digests, their legs moves on in the same manner. Inevitably, they turn a blind to whom or whatever is in front of them. Sure, they don't pose a problem to those behind them, but the ones in front whom they can't see... Hm. And being in a crowd, there's not much room for people to dodge The Blind Walker. They can only watch the collision course about to happen and possibly convey the message across to them before it actually happens. Or just hope for a empty space to pop up in order to allow them to pass. Whichever comes first, I suppose.

I think that's all I can list for the night. Or rather, I can only think of all these, but I'm sure there are many others around. Haha! As I've said, it's all in the name of fun, so don't mind me if I exaggerate things a little, ya. 'Cos seriously, besides The Invisible Toddlers, I've been, at least, one of those mentioned before, even the rare Dragon Dance Troupe. I'm sure everyone is. Crowds are always there, and it's all the different people in there that make up one. I think it's our fast pace of Life, just like how drivers love to abuse their honk, that getting stopped or slowed down through no fault of ours gets on our very nerves.

Can you think of any other types in a crowd? =P

End.